I am having major issues with my marriage. Please help?

My husband and I have been together for 9 years (married for almost 3) and things just aren't working. They haven't been for a long time. He's sooo controlling for one thing. We have two small children ( ages 2 1/2 and 5 months) and he works while I stay at home with the kids. Our bank account is really his bank account because I had an old account in the negative and they wont let me be added on to his till the balance is resolved with my credit. He doesn't let me have any access to our funds unless he know exactly what it's for, yet he can decided to spend OUR money whereever and whenever he wants. Lately he's been going out to play pool and despite his promises not to drink (because he knows he can't control himself enough just to have one or two), he comes home so drunk he gets loud and verbally abusive. These last two times I even feared for my safety cause he kept threatening me telling me when the kids go to bed he's gonna "Fu%k me up" or "bash my face in". He hasn't really aulted me yet but I'm afraid it only a matter of time. He also wouldn't stop using the F word to a point where my 2 year old daughter eventually repeated him saying Fu%k you TO ME!!! The next day he always says how sorry he is and how he knows I deserve better, but a week later he does it again. And the whole control thing has never changed or gotten any better. My mom wants me to bide my time and start learning my father's trade as a computer tester so I can have a way of getting a job so I can leave him and support myself. She gave me a cd to look at on my computer about the basics and my husband wouldn't stop pushing and asking what it was. I don't want to tip my hand and give him the advantage of knowing what I plan to do, but how do I do that when he's so relentless for an answer? I just don't want to fight anymore and I don't want to feel like a prisoner in my own skin. I need advice on how to move forward.